


Devil's Gonna Come

by 2am_limbo



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam Parrish-centric, Canon Divergence - Adam Stays at the Barns, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Robert Parrish Is His Own Warning, Soft Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish, canon divergence - timeline
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:33:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26242723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2am_limbo/pseuds/2am_limbo
Summary: Ronan had a bad feeling. It was this gut-wrenching knot that suddenly formed in his chest and then radiated outwards, intensified, pulsated. It had such a sense of dark, black, dread, and Ronan felt that if he could reach inside, he would reveal a large black, rotting, prickly thing of wrongness.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch & Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 19
Kudos: 104





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: This is about child abuse. It begins with the immediate after-effects of it and does not go into detail regarding the actual actions, though it is implied.

Ronan had a bad feeling. It was this gut-wrenching knot that suddenly formed in his chest and then radiated outwards, intensified, pulsated. It had such a sense of dark, black, dread, and Ronan felt that if he could reach inside, he would reveal a large black, rotting, prickly thing of _wrongness._

He was sitting on the floor of Monmouth with Gansey, Blue, and Noah, and Blue must've seen Ronan's faraway stare off into nothingness behind them as he suddenly felt this. He tried to decipher and interpret what it could mean, where it came from. Parrish. His stomach churned with anxiety. _Adam, Adam, Adam_ , his brain screamed at him. But it wasn’t quite his brain, not really. It was something else, an intuitive voice. Ronan wasn’t sure what.

"Ronan! Earth to _Ronan_!" Ronan blinked rapidly and looked over to see Blue's irritated expression. They all looked at him oddly, apparently they had tried to get his attention for some while. 

"I have to go," he said quickly as a way of explanation, and jumped up to run downstairs and to his car. Adam's trailer was only a few minutes away, but Ronan got there in record time. Adam's shitty ass car was parked outside, but Robert Parrish's truck was gone. Ronan stepped out of the car and for once in his life, gently closed the door. The prickly ball of dread had now evolved into something with daggers, and something was wrong, wrong, _wrong._ He couldn’t explain it. He couldn't risk slamming the door. He refrained from barging inside to find Adam in case he found himself in an unfavorable situation, or worse, put Adam into another one. At the same time, though, Ronan would give _anything_ to be confronted with Robert fucking Parrish right now. Instead, Ronan crept around to the edge of the trailer in the shadows, up the porch, and slowly creaked the storm door open that didn't latch all the way, to begin with. 

"Jesus fuck..." Ronan muttered under his breath as he looked around the main living area. There were dozens of glass beer bottles and cans everywhere, mostly on the floor, some shattered or crushed, and some not. A small table lamp laid on the ground, its lightbulb cast an odd shadow through the awkwardly broken lamp shade. The worn brown recliner was extended but tilted as if a leg had been broken underneath, and directly above it and to the left was a pretty decent-sized crater in the wall. 

Ronan's eyes continued to scan every square inch of the double-wide until he saw a slight movement to his left in his peripheral vision. He snapped his head to the left to see Adam. That goddamn pit in his chest and gut was pounding, as if saying _ding, ding, ding_! Ronan simply stared at him for a moment before rushing over to him. Adam was leaning over the back of a wooden kitchen chair that sat near the wall. He leaned over it on his elbows, his head hung low between his raised shoulders, as his hands toyed around with a crystal ashtray that was covered in a substance that suspiciously looked like blood. Adam's left knee was propped on the top rung of the chair to help him stand upright. 

"Adam," Ronan whispered, barely able to get the words out of his throat. Ronan saw the uneven breathing from Adam's chest, the motion at Adam's almost protruding rib cage.

“Adam, love,” Ronan tried again. It was a pet name that Ronan had only said twice before and both times by accident. It had slipped out, it wasn’t even a word that had been on his mind, but it had made Adam’s cheeks turn a little pink and his eyes crinkle at the corners like Ronan loves. This time, though, the only reaction he got was a hoarse “Go home, Ronan,” with a sudden sharp hiss as he lowered his leg down from the chair.

“What? Fuck that, Parrish,” Ronan snapped. Ronan rushed forward when he heard Adam’s sharp inhale, but Adam backed up quickly, “don’t touch me.” 

Adam had lifted his head higher now but didn’t look at Ronan. Instead, he took in his surroundings for what appeared to be the first time. He looked down and saw his balled-up white t-shirt next to his father’s old leather belt a few feet away on the floor. The one he never wore anymore because it’s become too worn to be useful, so he keeps it for other useful purposes just for Adam. Then Adam’s gaze drops down to the glass ashtray in his hand, and he drops it as if it had burned.

Ronan stopped in shock and hurt at Adam’s words for a second before he realized what was going on. This is what happened _after_. Ronan had never been there to experience an actual immediate _after,_ but he’s seen the after-effects after some time had passed. Ronan learned early on that he shouldn’t touch Adam when he’s having a nightmare and is unaware. Instead, Ronan gently talked to him to ease him out of it until he unconsciously melted back against Ronan. If Ronan was upset or angry, it didn’t go unnoticed that sometimes Adam would flinch if Ronan flailed his hands in a certain way or raised his voice in a certain manner.

Adam was scared and ashamed. He didn’t want Ronan to see him like this, or to be here at all. “Get out, Lynch,” Adam said with a bite that he knew would sting, but as Adam said it, Ronan could see him gulp as he tried to control his breathing, and something flashed in his eyes. When Adam turned his head to the side to look away, Ronan saw the large bleeding gash on the left side of his head, from his hairline, down over his eyebrow, and then all the way down and across to the top of his ear. Ronan clenched his teeth. His anger and hatred for Robert Parrish was so, so close to exploding over the edge, but he knew that he couldn’t lose it here, not with Adam like this.

“No,” Ronan said as he lifted his chin in defiance and took a step closer to Adam.

“Get out!” Adam started to shout now. Ronan took another step. “Get out, get out, _get out_!” Adam’s hands had gone up towards his head by then, and he dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. When the tips of his fingers grazed the blood, he drew his hands away and examined them with a look of confusion as they shook.

Ronan took that opportunity to swiftly make his way to Adam before Adam could fully realize it. He threw his arms around Adam and felt him stiffen. “No! Get _off_ of me, Ronan! I don’t need your _help_!” The fact alone that Adam said _Ronan_ and not _Lynch_ said otherwise. Ronan said nothing. Adam would always refuse help, he would never ask for it. 

Ronan only held on to him tighter and close enough to the wall so that he couldn’t fight back too much. Ronan squeezed his eyes shut as he felt bloody welts trace along Adam’s back. He desperately tried to choke down sobs that would undoubtedly resurface by the end of the night. All he kept hearing was _no, no, no, no,_ and all he kept feeling was Adam’s desperate struggles and half-hearted punches against Ronan until Ronan raised a hand and cupped the back of his head.

At that, it felt as if all the fight had begun to drain from Adam’s hands and arms. Ronan started to caress a tiny pattern on the back of Adam’s head with his thumb, and he whispered in Adam’s ear, “please, Adam, I love you”. 

Adam lost all of his fight then, what was left of it, and he leaned into Ronan. He buried his head in Ronan’s chest to hide his face and clutched the back of his shirt in fistfuls.

“I love you,” Ronan said again and almost choked on the weight of everything, “please”. Ronan wasn’t sure exactly what he was pleading for, but they somehow both understood. Perhaps it was _please, Adam, let me help you_ , or _please, leave this place with me_ , or maybe it was _please, please, please let me stay with you._ Maybe it was something else entirely, but also all of those things and then some. 

Ronan felt Adam sway a bit on his feet then. He cupped Adam’s face and pulled him back enough to be able to fully examine the injury from the ashtray. It was pretty deep and looked like there could be small embedded shards.

“Adam, we have to get you to a doctor, this needs stitches, and there’s glass still in it. It’s bled a lot.” 

Adam blinked several times to clear his vision, “I can’t af--” That’s all that could be said. Adam was too drained from the day to even open his mouth. Of course, Adam would think only of the financial burden of this over his own fucking life.

“Can you walk?” Ronan asked. Adam’s brows furrowed together in thought as if the question took a little longer to process than usual. Adam nodded.

And Adam did walk, most of the way. Ronan really shouldn’t have been surprised at all. Adam could do whatever the fuck he set his mind to. A few trailers down, an old classic Cadillac’s door slammed shut, which sounded eerily like Robert Parrish’s old Chevy truck door. Adam flinched so severely that he tripped and slid on a loose raised brick leading up to the front porch. He grabbed Ronan’s shoulder with the hand not clinging to his hand like a lifesaver, which almost pulled Ronan down along with Adam.

“Adam,” Ronan said as he steadied him. That original bad feeling had started to develop into something more dreadful, and they needed to go. Adam looked down the street where they heard the car door. He was convinced that it was his father’s truck headed down the gravel road, and he didn’t know which way to run. Ronan groaned. They didn’t have time for this. He stepped forward and easily picked Adam up.

“Ronan, sto--” the sudden movement made him dizzy and he lifted a hand to his head as if that was what spun.

“You’re as heavy as a fucking feather, Parrish, get over it.”

As soon as Ronan had gently gotten Adam settled in the passenger seat, he fell asleep up against the door in one of Ronan’s t-shirts that he found in the back seat, his arms wrapped around his middle. Luckily for Ronan, Adam was so drained that he didn’t see him accidentally drift into the opposite lane when a shitty-ass Chevy pick-up truck came from the opposite direction and caused the truck to veer off the road and into a ditch.

\-----------------------------

“Mr. Lynch? I’m Dr. Neel.”

Ronan looked up to whoever spoke to him from the chair he had dragged over to keep watch over Adam’s privacy curtain. “Oh,” he responded, not entirely present either.

“As Mr. Parrish’s primary emergency contact, I wanted to go--"

“His what?” Ronan interrupted as he blinked at her several times. Everything was blurred together.

“You’re listed as his only emergency contact. I wanted to go over his discharge instructions with you,” she responded rather curtly. He let his surprise go and nodded.

“Mr. Parrish has a severe concussion from the blunt force trauma of the glass object that he was hit with. He needed eleven stitches, and we used liquid sutures for several of the lacerations on his back. I’ve prescribed a prescription NSAID for the pain and a vestibular suppressant for vertigo. He needs plenty of rest and to stay in bed for several days. Mental stimulation needs to stay at a minimum. Make sure he avoids any screen time, music, that sort of thing.” He nodded and took the two written prescriptions that she handed him.

“We also gave him a mild sedative. He did not want us to examine him and worked himself up into a panic attack, so he may be a bit groggy for a few more hours.” Ronan only looked at her like an idiot. Everything had been so intense and heartbreaking that his mind couldn’t move fast enough.

“Can I take him home?”

\--------------------------------

Adam woke up to blackness. He thought he had opened his eyes, but maybe he hadn’t. Maybe he shouldn’t. His eyelids felt like they weighed a million tons. He opened his eyes again, maybe, and immediately brought his hands up to cover his eyes and to hold his head still from spinning.

“Oh, god,” he groaned miserably.

“What? What is it? Are you okay?” A panicked voice right next to his ear as he somehow sunk a couple of inches.

“My head… Are my eyes open?”

“What kind of question is that, Parrish?” the voice snapped, and then “Oh, right. I dreamed these special blackout curtains. The doctor said you need plenty of rest, and that dark room rest would be beneficial with the vestibular suppressants,” the voice said.

“Ronan,” Adam said in a tone that sounded like he had solved a mystery. “What doctor? This doesn’t sound like Monmouth. Where are we? Wait, what time is it? I’m supposed to be at Boyd’s at 9:00. I told him I would cover one of the guys’ shifts.” Adam was quickly getting himself too worked up, and he started to sit up as he went through all of his. Ronan gently urged him back down with a hand on his chest.

“Adam, I already talked to Boyd. You can’t work right now, you’re injured. You need to rest.” Ronan knew that this was going to be one hell of a battle. Adam couldn’t even comprehend the definition of _rest_.

“What do you mean I can’t work? I have bills to pay, Ronan,” Adam snapped.

“Did you not hear the part about being injured?”

Adam didn’t say anything for a minute. Finally, Adam went to sit up again. He made it halfway and then paused with his eyes closed, and then managed to fully sit upright.

“Look, Lynch. I remember, okay? It’s fine. Nothing new. I look like shit for a couple of days, and then good as new. I can’t miss shifts like this, it adds up, and I’m so close to having what I need for next semester.” Ronan’s expression grew stormy. That damn detached and dismissive defense mechanism.

“It’s _fine_? You have a goddamn concussion, Parrish! The doctor recommended even keeping talking to a minimum! You had to get eleven fuckin’ stitches in your goddamn _face_ , and it took them over two hours to get all the little tiny-ass shards before they could even clean it and to bandage up your back, and they had to give you fuckin’ lorazepam to even examine you, and you’re telling me it’s _fine_? Do you have any idea of the state you were in when I found you?”

Adam said nothing as Ronan sucked in a steadying breath after his argument. Of course, Adam knew it wasn't fine, but what else was he supposed to say?

“I know,” Adam whispered after a minute of uncomfortable silence. “Will you stay?” 

Ronan deflated then and laid down on the bed next to Adam. He motioned to him as he did so to lay down as well, and as Adam’s head hit the pillow, Ronan wrapped his arm around Adam’s stomach and pulled him to his chest. Adam fell asleep almost immediately. Ronan placed his face in Adam’s hair and closed his eyes. He wouldn’t let himself sleep tonight. Robert Parrish, as far as he knew, had no idea that the Barns even existed, let alone how to get there, but Ronan was worried that he would come looking for Adam. As far as Robert was concerned, Adam had responsibilities to his family, and keeping quiet was one of them.

Ronan was terrified. They had all begged Adam to leave the trailer. They had given him options, but Adam was so tied up in that goddamn _charity_ and _help_ issue of his that he always refused. Ronan was terrified that if Robert didn’t find Adam first, that Adam would decide that he needed to go home. Ronan didn’t know how to even feel, he felt too much to decipher any of it.

Ronan did know, though, that he wanted to destroy something. He wanted to burn the whole goddamn town to the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

Later that night, Ronan woke to the sound of Adam retching across the hall in the bathroom. He cursed to himself that he had allowed himself to fall asleep. Ronan ran into the bathroom and caught himself on the door frame to prevent himself from falling headfirst from rushing. Adam was hunched at the toilet with his elbows on the seat as his hands pulled at his hair.

“My ear,” Adam croaked out and pointed to his deaf ear. “It’s…” Adam began again and made a small swirling motion near his head. “It’s making everything so… tippy…”

Adam sat back further onto his heels and pressed his forehead directly to the seat. For a fleeting moment, Ronan was glad that he was so meticulously clean around the Barns.

“Let me get the Meclizine,” Ronan reached up into the medicine cabinet and got Adam’s dose of Meclizine and some water with the glass left on the counter.

When he tried handing it to Adam, Adam groaned.

“I can’t even think about putting anything in my mouth right now,” Adam carded a hand back through his hair as he scrunched his eyes again against the spinning room. Ronan couldn’t help but snort at that perceived innuendo.

“Fuck you, Lynch… I can’t even move my eyes.”

“Parrish, you _have_ to take this.” Ronan’s phone started its ringing of _squash one, squash two_ from across the hallway, and Adam flinched at the volume. Ronan groaned but ignored it.

“How about I take you back to bed and we can get you to take it laying down, that should help.” _Squash one, squash two_ … “Jesus, fuck,” Ronan swore. It rang over and over and over again. Ronan stood up.

“Okay, keep your eyes closed, I’m going to pick you up,” Ronan bent down to lift Adam, but all he heard was _no, no, no, no_. “It’ll just be a second, I promise, you big baby.” Adam _humph_ ed.

Ronan gently laid Adam down on the bed and swept his hair from his forehead. “Okay?” He asked Adam, and his phone began to ring again. Adam dug the heels of his hands into his eyes.

“Ear is just… exacerbating… Tipping everything over to the side and then spinning.”

“Here, lean your head just enough to swallow this,” Ronan placed the Meclizine on Adam’s tongue and handed him the water. Adam did as he was told, and then laid his head back down on the luxurious pillow with a sigh.

“Who keeps calling?” Adam slurred after a few minutes. Ronan quickly blessed Dr. Neel in his head for prescribing a sedating vestibular suppressant. Adam needed it. God knows he wouldn’t let himself rest without it. His grip in his hair had finally loosened, and Ronan lowered his arm down to rest with the other on his stomach as he drifted in and out. Ronan didn’t bother answering him.

Once Adam was finally asleep, Ronan looked at his phone. Eleven missed calls from Gansey. He cursed under his breath. He really didn’t want to call him back. He knew what it was somehow about.

Ronan hit the call back button.

“Is Adam okay?” Gansey yelled into the phone before the first ring was even completed. Ronan opened his mouth, but for some reason, he couldn’t make any noise come out.

“Ronan! So help me...”

“He’s… fine.” Ronan croaked out and cleared his throat.

“Ronan, his father is outside Monmouth. He kicked through the door when I wouldn’t answer it, looking for Adam. Honestly, Ronan, is he--”

Ronan panicked when he heard that, “don’t tell him about this place!” Ronan cut him off with a snarl. He itched for a fight. “Play dumb, Gansey. Don’t get involved.”

“ _I’m already involved_ , Lynch, and Blue is here! Robert is waiting outside in case Adam is here and is trying to leave.”

“Ronan, you _shithead_ ,” Blue took the phone from Gansey, “what the hell _happened to Adam_? Why is he with you, is he okay? Gansey said he’s never seen Robert like this the entire time you’ve known Adam.” Blue sounded panicked and concerned, too, but she was better at masking it than Gansey was. Ronan sucked in a deep, deep breath, and stood up to go downstairs as to not wake Adam.

“His asshole _father_ beat the shit out of him. It was… really fucking bad. I had to take him to the goddamn ER.” There was a moment of silence as Blue and Gansey took in what Ronan told them. He could hear Blue gasp _oh my god_ in the background as she gave the phone back to Gansey.

“How bad is it?” Gansey asked. Ronan hesitated.

“If I tell you, you can’t come over here and be all _Papa Gansey_ and take care of everything. We can’t risk him following you here. _We can’t_. _Do you fucking hear me_?” 

Gansey didn’t hesitate in the slightest. He trusted Ronan with his life, and he knew how much he loved Adam. He would never let anything happen to him, and Gansey wasn’t stupid enough to cross Robert Parrish. Ronan told them everything.

“And if that dickhead doesn’t leave, you call the fucking cops,” Ronan said. He could feel that familiar anger building and building in his chest. He wanted to beat the living shit out of Robert Parrish. “If you don’t, I’ll come over there myself.”


	3. Chapter 3

While Adam was passed out from the medication, Ronan watched over him and worried and worried and worried. He traced along Adams suntanned skin and felt every individual rib in Adam's body, and that in itself triggered a whole new different kind of worry because yes, Adam was naturally thin and lean, but this sort of thinness was due to hunger and overwork, and it was ingrained in him to not eat more than the bare minimum. Ronan smoothed a thumb over each scar and bruise as if his thumb were an eraser.

Adam was _out_ , and in a way, that relieved Ronan to know that he was at least resting for once despite the shit circumstances. The smoothness and peacefulness that was now painted across Adam’s face both pained Ronan and warmed his chest.

_He’s not leaving, Ronan._

Ronan growled at his phone. _Then call the fucking police, Dick_ , _he’s trespassing and refusing to leave._

Ronan wanted to punch something. He needed to feel something other than this deep abysmal worry. In his mind’s eye, he envisioned punching the wall and throwing his hands against it and shoving as if he could move it, but it did nothing to appease the longing. Instead, he went and ran his hands under scalding water in the bathroom. Ronan began to pace the bathroom. He watched in mild interest as his feet began to wear footprints on the surface of the bath mats. He wanted to run his fingers through the plush threads. He wanted to run his fingers across the smooth countertop of the vanity, over the cool glass of the mirror, through Adam’s hair, across his warm skin and taut muscles from all of his physical labor. He needed to feel the warmth of him, make sure he was still okay, that he was still breathing, that this injury was related more to his ear than to his head. _It isn’t a severe concussion, it's relatively mild, Ronan, it’s just his deaf ear throwing off his equilibrium._ Why couldn’t he take a step forward? Why couldn’t he find balance against the vanity? Ronan realized that he had been holding a breath, and his chest ached and eventually shuddered with the need to exhale.

_The police are here. Robert’s saying he isn’t leaving without Adam, that he’s under 18_.

Ronan blinked as he read Gansey’s message. He just wanted to hold Adam and shield him away from the world, just the two of them, and keep him safe, and he felt like a fucking failure, what was there to even _do_?

_It won’t take the police long, Ronan. All they have to do is ask around… You’re not exactly living off the map_.

_What do I do?_

Gansey didn’t respond immediately. Ronan could almost feel the hesitation there, the sympathy. He wanted to protect Adam, too, he cared for him like Ronan did, only in a different way. Gansey was also the one to play by the rules, though, whereas Ronan wouldn’t go down without a fight.

_I don’t think you have a choice._

“Fuck that!” Ronan shouted at nothing in particular and clenched his fists. Another notification tone came through.

_He isn’t emancipated. Maybe they’ll see the state that he’s in and want to investigate._

After several more minutes of trying to work through his panic, Ronan finally walked back into the bedroom to find Adam rolled over on his side facing the door. His eyes were opened slightly. He was drowsy and they were glazed over from the medication, but he also had that strong and determined _Parrish_ look that he reserved for show to the outside world.

"I can't stay here forever, Ronan," he said quietly, and he clenched his teeth as his eyes met Ronan's, presumably to mask his emotions. Of course, Adam had worked out what he and Gansey had been discussing. He was Adam Parrish.

Ronan examined his face from the doorway. The long red and raised four-inch line of stitches next to and through his eyebrow. The black bruise to the right of the bridge of his nose leading to the bruise beneath his eye. The dark black and blue bruise around his neck and beneath his jaw. He didn't understand how someone could do this to someone else, to be this cruel, let alone a father.

"Breathe, Ronan," he heard Adam say faintly. Adam's chest and stomach were in knots, and he felt like his brain was on the verge of shutting down from panic, but he had become an expert in hiding all things related to his home life, usually, and so he hid it from Ronan, too.

"I can't let you go back there," Ronan finally said quietly, He went and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm worried he's going to hurt you worse for running off," Ronan said. Adam gave a small shrug.

"I didn't run off, you kidnapped me," Adam said with a small smile, but it didn't quite meet his eyes. Adam was expecting a glare from Ronan, some kind of smart-ass retort that would prove his attempt at being lighthearted effective, but Ronan only looked away.

"I've always been fine, Lynch," Adam said and then, "I love you. I'm glad you came by that day." Adam said honestly since there was nothing left.

"I had a bad feeling," Ronan said as he looked back to Adam.

"What?"

"I had a bad feeling that night. I knew something was wrong, that's why I was there."

Adam watched Ronan and said nothing. He understood.

"I'll be fine," Adam said again after a few silent moments. "The grogginess is subsiding a bit, we can go after that. I don't want him to do anything to Monmouth," he added. _Or Blue and Gansey_.

  
  


The drive to Monmouth was silent. Ronan's hands were white on the wheel and gear shift, and every so often he would chance a look at Adam, who was peering out the window with his hands in his lap. He was nervous, Ronan could tell even though he was doing his damndest to hide it. Ronan didn’t know what it felt like to be afraid of someone. He understood the irritation or boredom or dread of having to see someone, but never fear.

Finally, they reached the Monmouth lot, and Ronan had never, ever felt so much dread in his life. As soon as Adam's father heard the BMW's rumble and saw the headlights die, he hastily made his way towards the car. 

"Adam," Ronan said quietly, both a warning and from nerves. Adam said nothing and didn't look at Ronan. Adam knew that if he did, then he would lose it. Ronan saw him clench his jaw and the deep but silent inhale, and then in one swift motion, Adam reached for the door handle, flung it open, and got out of the car. He didn't look back, but Ronan could tell in the set of his shoulders that he was desperately trying not to. He could feel the fear radiating.

"Get in the goddamn truck," Ronan heard Robert Parrish growl evenly. Adam did as he was told without a word, and Ronan could feel himself tearing up. He hated himself. He hated himself for what he didn't do, for not protecting Adam better, for not beating the shit out of Robert fucking Parrish. He sat there in the BMW as the old Chevy pick-up recklessly tore out of the lot as a hand holding a cigarette hung out of the window. He sat there and sat there, long after Adam was gone, and when he finally decided to go upstairs, he ignored Gansey and Blue and slammed his bedroom door. He broke everything in sight.

  
  


Ronan skipped school the next day, but because of despair and not because of his lack of interest. Gansey told him that Adam wasn't at school either.

Late that night, Ronan drove by Adam's trailer and hoped that Robert would be out somewhere. Luckily, his truck was gone, but to his dismay, that probably also meant that he was at a bar, which made for a bad situation for Adam.

He parked a few trailers down and walked quietly through the shadows before reaching Adam's window in his makeshift bedroom that was blocked off by a curtain. Adam had the window cracked open and pushed out to feel the cool breeze. He was laying up against the wall under the window, facing towards the entrance with his hearing ear up, always on guard. Since Ronan had listened to Adam and drove him back to Monmouth, he had had this tight choking lump in his throat that made his chest feel like it was about to rupture at any minute, and he so badly, desperately, wanted to touch Adam.

Upon closer examination up on the balls of his feet to peer in, Ronan saw that Adam had his blanket pulled up to his chin, and his forearm was draped over the side of his face as if protecting it. He could see his dusty brown hair from over the top of the blanket, and he was laying a bit more curled in on himself than usual.

"Adam," Ronan whispered through the crack with no response. Adam was always a light sleeper, and Ronan's heart began to race. He reached through the window then and gently but firmly grabbed Adam's shoulder, which he knew would be a bad idea, he's learned over time to never startle him, but he needed to make sure he was okay.

Adam startled then and shot up as he slammed his elbow in the wall while trying to scramble. He squinted as he swore from his sudden swimming vision.

"Jesus, Ronan," Adam said as he tried to regain his breath.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," Adam looked at him then, and Ronan's eyes were wide with worry, and Adam was gifted with many things, but he was an expert in knowing Ronan.

"I'm okay," Adam confirmed, and Ronan studied him for any new injuries that may have appeared after he left him last night, _left him_ , but there were none that Ronan could see.

"He left after we got back last night and hasn't been back yet. Told me to stay put." Ronan's face morphed then into something beyond angry, and if Adam didn't know him, it would have scared him.

"And that I shouldn't have gone to the hospital because we can't afford it, and I should have stitched it up myself like a real man."

Ronan's mouth was pressed into a thin line, and still, he said nothing. Adam sat himself up a bit more with a wince and pushed the window out wider. He couldn't stretch his neck out too far without pain, but Ronan could tell what he was doing and met him halfway. They pressed their lips together until Ronan placed his forehead on Adam's.

They said nothing for a short while until Ronan asked, "how's your head and ear? Still taking the meds, right?" Ronan felt Adam stiffen, only such a small amount that Adam probably didn't even realize he had done it, but Ronan was well-read in all things Adam Parrish. Ronan pulled away and looked hard at Adam.

"Why aren't you taking them? Do I need to babysit you 24/7? As soon as I leave you, you’re back to your usual _I don’t need help from anyone_ bullshit," Ronan snapped, truly angry now, always irritated and concerned that Adam didn't take better care of himself.

"Ronan, _be quiet_ , my mom is home," Adam hissed.

"Yeah, probably passed out in her room," Ronan snapped again. He didn't do it often to Adam, not purposely, but he never thought anything through before it came out of his mouth, and knew how to hurt Adam.

Adam visibly recoiled then, and Ronan softened when he saw the hurt in his eyes. Adam broke eye contact and wouldn't look at Ronan as he pulled the window shut, turned back, laid back down, and turned his face into the pillow.

Adam didn't want to tell Ronan that his medication was on his father's nightstand, and Ronan didn't want to tell Adam that he planned to park his BMW behind Robert Parrish's truck late that night to keep an eye out on the trailer.


	4. Chapter 4

Adam wasn't at school the next day either, Gansey had said, but Ronan already knew that as he had been sitting and watching Adam's trailer from his BMW all night, keeping guard. He didn't sleep, only worried. He didn't think he even looked away from the general direction of the trailer once, and the fact that _Adam Parrish_ was skipping school like this, facial injuries aside, worried Ronan even more.

Ronan's guilt was eating away at him. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see that hurt look of Adam's that he was responsible for putting there. Ronan waited until Robert left for work, and then for his mother to leave for her waitressing job, before making his way up to the door of the trailer.

The screen door creaked loudly and swung back forcefully into his back as he knocked on the front door. It felt soothing, Ronan realized after the quick and unexpected _thwack_ against his back. It made him feel a little less guilty for only a second. He knocked a second and third time without an answer before he let himself in. He found Adam still in bed with his hearing ear pressed to the mattress. This in itself threw up red flags in Ronan’s head. Adam never laid in a way that would make him vulnerable, never truly resting, always with one eye open, so-to-speak. The sickening thought occurred to Ronan that maybe Adam had done this intentionally, but Ronan quickly pushed that thought aside. Adam wasn’t self-destructive like he was. The thought still lingered.

Ronan knew that Adam wouldn’t hear him if he called his name, so he sat down on the side of Adam’s tiny bed. Somehow, always a light sleeper, Adam didn’t feel the dip in the mattress, and Ronan’s breathing accelerated. Ronan leaned closer to Adam, his brain automatically jumping to the worst conclusions, and gently caressed the side of Adam’s face and down to his chin. Adam sighed then and melted into Ronan’s touch but didn’t fully wake, and Ronan’s brow furrowed in concern. Off to the side on the mattress, Ronan caught sight of a pill bottle, and he stopped breathing altogether as he snatched it up.

As he reached back over Adam, he finally stirred and rolled onto his back with the palm of his hand pressed between his eyes. _Only Benadryl_ , Ronan realized with a choked back sob, as he not-so-gently pressed his lips to Adam’s forehead.

“Jesus, Ronan,” he mumbled not unkindly.

“Why are you taking these to help you sleep and not the medication the doctor gave you?” Adam didn’t want to tell him and so he didn’t respond.

“Adam, tell me what’s going on,” Ronan said as he remained on the edge of the bed and leaned over Adam, a hand on each side of him which ultimately kept Adam in place if he were to decide to bail on the conversation that Ronan was trying to initiate. “Please.”

That _please_ is what did it, and Adam deflated, sinking into the mattress, and broke eye contact with Ronan.

“My dad took it,” he said quietly, “the medication. He’s been taking it.” Ronan’s eyes suddenly turned dark.

“What the _fuck_ , Parrish.” It wasn’t a question. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me. How long have you been without it?” Adam shrugged nervously.

“Don’t be mad,” Adam whispered.

“Don’t be _mad_?” Ronan snarled. “I’m fucking furious!” He snapped. When he saw Adam flinch, Ronan realized what he had meant.

“Not at you,” Ronan backtracked as he let out a long, deep exhale. “At your fucking dad,” Ronan looked down to Adam then and studied his face. “Come back to the Barns with me. You’ll be safe there.”

Ronan gently traced the four-inch line of sutures that started at Adam’s eyebrow and down, lightly smoothed his thumb along with the dark bruise beneath his eye as if hoping to erase it, down to the large bruise along his jaw before Ronan cupped the side of Adam’s face. Adam’s eyes had fluttered closed, and for a moment, Adam allowed himself to remember those last days at the Barns, to imagine himself there with Ronan, safe and warm with him in his bed. Adam shook his head.

“We can’t play pretend,” he whispered. Ronan only looked away. The two of them said nothing for several minutes before Adam lifted his hands and cupped both sides of Ronan’s face, too.

“Look at me,” Adam whispered, and after a moment, Ronan did. “I’m _fine_ ,” Adam said. “I’m always fine, it always passes.”

“Until the day you’re not,” Ronan whispered back.

Ronan nervously drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and watched the trailer through the sheets of rain hitting the windshield, his BMW masked perfectly in the pitch black of the night behind Robert Parrish’s truck.

“Goddamnit, boy!” Ronan heard glass breaking. “I _told_ you that the truck needed to be fixed before I had to go back out tonight!”

"You never told me that, I wasn't even _here_ when it broke down!" Adam was shouting back, he was getting bold, and that scared Ronan.

"Get out there and fix it," Robert responded in a scarily deep and even voice after a moment of silence.

It was pouring cold rain, the kind that felt like needles piercing your skin each time a drop landed, and Ronan struggled to keep his composure. His jaws clenched in anger, his nostrils flared, his thumb began to tap manically against the bottom of the wheel as he gripped it.

"It's pouring--"

"I don't give a shit! That's money that I lost out on because _you_ couldn't be bothered to get out of bed to fix the goddamn truck before that extra shift!"

Ronan didn't hear Adam say anything else and then saw him standing on the front porch with his arms wrapped tight around himself as if he were studying the rain, contemplating getting sick out in the dark rain or getting hit again for not doing so. From here, looking through his windshield and then through Robert's, it looked like Adam was wearing one of Ronan's pullover sweatshirts. That caused Ronan to smile briefly and then back to watching Adam's every move.

Finally, Adam pulled the hood up and took the three steps down the wooden porch of the double-wide. When he reached the driver's side door not too far away from the trailer, he froze. Adam looked back to the trailer a moment to make sure his father wasn't watching, and then walked over to the BMW.

"What are you _doing_ ," Adam hissed quietly when Ronan rolled the window down. "You can't be here, if he finds you here, he'll --" Adam paused and shook his head. "You need to go, Ronan. He's still mad. I'm _fine_."

"No," Ronan said simply and maintained eye contact. Adam knew he wouldn't win this argument, so he didn't try. Adam looked away and down the road as he chewed at the inside of his bottom lip in thought.

"You'll have to move the car," Adam finally said. "You can stay tonight, Ronan, but that's it. You have to let this go."

"Let it _go_ \--" Adam interrupted Ronan's snarl with a hand, a silent plea to stop.

"Don't," Adam said. "I don't know where you can stay," he added and motioned for Ronan to follow him. In the shed, Ronan saw that Adam had tried to fix it up a bit since the last time he had seen it, and briefly wondered if he was trying to make himself a safer space while at home. Ronan watched him as he gathered up the tools he needed and briefly felt ashamed as he admired his hands as they rummaged through the drawers.

"If you're not staying in the BMW once you move it, I guess you can stay here. It can't stay here where he'll see it," Adam nodded towards the workbench. Ronan raised an eyebrow. Adam immediately bristled at Ronan's reaction.

"Or you can just go, Lynch," he snapped. "I don't need a guardian."

"Why are you being such a dick?" Ronan snapped back. Adam's eyes became stormy and Ronan noticed how his breathing quickened, so he lowered his voice and calmly said "I can't leave you alone here."

"Because I can't let you get hurt because of me, and if I think about any of it too much, I'll fucking lose it," Adam let out a deep and shuddering breath. Ronan could tell he was in discomfort, and he wanted nothing more right now than to take it all away.

"I need to fix the truck and go to bed. My head hurts," Adam sounds defeated. "I'll see you tomorrow if you're not skipping."

"Can I at least drive you to school?" Adam shrugged and started to walk away with his tools. He looked over his shoulder and said “Go move your car, Lynch.”

Worry, fear, and anger aside, Ronan quite enjoyed the view as Adam worked on the truck.

Adam, of course, didn’t miss the look that briefly crossed Gansey’s face when he saw Adam for the first time since the _incident_. To Gansey’s credit, he recovered quickly and started animatedly talking about the classes Adam missed and handed over the stack of notes that he had taken. Adam murmured his thanks as he continued to look down after he shoved the notes in his bag.

“Parrish,” Ronan whispered as he slowed his pace to pull Adam back. “Are you okay being back? We can go take a ride,” Ronan flashed a mischievous grin. Adam met Ronan's eyes and stared as if he had forgotten to look away. Adam chewed at the inside of his bottom lip as he thought and looked away. Adam averted his eyes every time someone looked at him and stared at his injuries, but Ronan only stared at the beautiful boy in front of him.

Finally, Adam snatched Ronan's wrist and quickly led him back outside to the student parking lot.

"Mr. Adam Parrish, skipping class," Ronan made a mock sound of disapproval as he made a dramatic show of opening the passenger's door with a bow. Adam rolled his eyes and smacked his hand out of the way as he got in the BMW.

Back in the Real World outside of the trailer and painkillers and Benadryl, Adam noticed that his sense of time had become widely skewed. He blinked his eyes and Ronan had them up in the mountains. Adam looked away from the window and to the clock on the dashboard. 

Ronan noticed his confused expression when Adam asked how long they had been driving.

"Maybe you should take more time, Parrish. There's no way you don't still have that concussion."

Adam looked back out the window again. "I don't have more time to take or I'll fall too far behind."

"Yeah, but if your fucking _brain_ isn't working properly yet…"

"I'm fine."

"Stop saying you're fine when you're clearly not fucking fine!" Ronan shouted now and pounded his hand one time on the wheel until he realized that Adam had flinched. He sighed and pulled over to a designated viewpoint that looked down into the valley below.

"Come on," Ronan said as he opened the door, and Adam reluctantly followed. The boys found themselves on a bench looking out into the night. Ronan's back was pressed against the back of the wooden bench as he peered up at the stars, and Adam sat perpendicular with his legs crossed beneath him and faced Ronan instead while he mindlessly wrung his hands in his lap. Normally he liked doing this with Ronan, looking out at all of these new and grand possibilities without a word, but today it only felt suffocating. He was never getting out of Henrietta.

"Adam?" Adam's stomach warmed a bit when he heard his name said in that quiet, gentle tone, that Ronan reserves only for him, and he vaguely realized that Ronan had actually said his name out loud, it wasn’t in Adam’s head. He registered that Ronan's hands were gently on either side of his face, and his thumbs wiped away a couple of tears that Adam hadn't realized he had cried. Adam cleared his throat, embarrassed, and blinked several times to clear his vision.

"Sorry," Adam murmured and looked away.

Ronan's hands stilled as the occasional tear stopped coming completely and gently turned his head back to face Ronan. 

"What's going on in that bigass brain of yours?" He looked into Adam's eyes, searched, and willed Adam to not look away. Adam only shrugged nonchalantly.

"You and I both know that's bullshit, Parrish."

“I don’t know how to articulate it. I’m just feeling too much,” Adam said quietly. He looked away again, and Ronan watched as Adam’s brows drew together as he thought. Ronan wasn’t going to push. Adam gently slid his hand over the surface of some moss that covered a piece of the top of the bench.

“I’m never getting out of here, am I?” Adam whispered so quietly that Ronan almost missed it. Ronan’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. He had never, ever known Adam to talk like that.

“Hey,” Ronan said sternly as he moved his hands from Adam’s cheeks to the back of Adam’s neck and further held his head in place with his thumbs against his jaws. He needed Adam to understand. “Fuck you, Parrish, I better not ever hear anything like that come out of your mouth again.”

Adam stared back and lifted a brow in challenge, but his mouth quirked the tiniest fraction.

“Or what,” Adam deadpanned. It wasn’t a question.

“I’ll fucking kick you out myself. I’ll pack your shit up and drive your ass up to Harvard before you can even blink.” Adam huffed a nervous laugh.

“You’d miss me, Lynch,” Adam said playfully.

Ronan’s eyes grew stormy as he tensed. “I would,” he admitted, “but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 will be the end, I think... Sorry, guys. :(


End file.
